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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29781849">Criminal Minds Oneshots | 𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙𝖞</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocxden/pseuds/tocxden'>tocxden</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Demily, F/F, F/M, Garvez, Heid - Freeform, Hossi, Jeid, Jemily - Freeform, M/M, Moreid, Multi, Ralvez - Freeform, Tamily, hotchniss, spencelle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:22:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29781849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocxden/pseuds/tocxden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hop aboard the BAU train; last stop for the night, arousal. Welcome aboard Hossi, Hotchniss, Jemily, Jeid, Moreid, Morcia, Garvez, Talvez, and Stephara stans.  I will be your conductor this evening, morning, whenever you're reading this, so please sit back, relax, and become satisfied.</p><p>A collection of Oneshots. I take requests. </p><p>All Rights Reserved</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Hotchner &amp; Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez/Tara Lewis, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan, Tara Lewis &amp; Stephen Walker, Tara Lewis/Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Group Bonding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rossi fucked Hotch who fucked Prentiss who fucked JJ who fucked Reid who fucked Morgan who fucked Garcia who fucked Alvez who fucked Lewis who fucked Walker who fucked death.</p><p>The End.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chocolate Thunder and White Lightning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I apologize in advance for this Chapter. If you finish reading and have not cried –at all -- then I did something wrong, Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TW: Homophobia</p><p>Derek had invited Spencer to Chicago for the holidays because he wanted his family to meet him not just as his co-worker but as his boyfriend. Admittedly Spencer was nervous because he had an irrational fear that no one especially a parent would like him. This most likely stems from his childhood, a sense of unimportance after his father's departure, his non-existent social life at school, and the breakup with his boyfriend Ethan. </p><p>In essence, this also is the reason behind his severe Daddy issues and less severe Mommy issues. </p><p>* * *</p><p>The two men left work earlier so that they could finish packing any other items they needed for the trip. During the car ride to Reid's apartment, Morgan could see that his boyfriend was repeatedly wiping his hands on his pants and tapping his right foot. </p><p>"Hey, if you don't want to go with me, I'll completely understand. Maybe we could-"but was interrupted by an anxious Spencer.</p><p>"No, no, no, I want to go. I just what if she doesn't like me what if I'm not the man she thinks I am?"</p><p>"You'll be okay, so stop worrying yourself."</p><p>"I just want to-”</p><p>"I know," the older man said with a slight smile as he placed his large hand against the younger man's thigh. </p><p>Within thirty-minutes, they arrived home, and luckily the only items that needed to be packed were Spencer's books he was planning to read when they were on the road. With that they had two hours before they planned to be on the road, Derek thought that it would be smart to head out early but he decided against it after Spencer suggested he used this time to get the necessary sleep since he is the designated driver. </p><p>Spencer reenters the bedroom after using the bathroom and stands in the doorway staring at his lover asleep in the bed. They have to leave in a few minutes but Spencer always found sleeping Derek attractive and he wanted to enjoy those moments before they got on the road. </p><p>"Der."</p><p>"Hmm."</p><p>"We should head out now."</p><p>"Time."</p><p>"2:17."</p><p>"Huh. Okay," he says before sitting up, sliding on his sneakers, and headed for the living room. </p><p>"Alright, you got everything?" </p><p>"Yes. Let's go."</p><p>"You sure." </p><p>"Yes," says Spencer before playfully shoving Derek out the door, turning off the lights, and locking the door to his apartment. Derek wrapped his burly arm around the younger man's waist, pulling him closer. Spencer gazed into the older man's eyes; he smiled and leaned into his shoulder as they headed out of the apartment complex.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The trip would be a long one, thankfully for Derek, that gave him plenty of time to calm down Spencer's nerves. Despite Spencer's nagging and constant persistence of telling Derek to use a GPS, the older man refused and managed to miss more than a few turns before successfully merging onto I-80. While cruising along I-80, the car battery died, shutting off the radio and the headlights, so, Derek cautiously pulled off into the shoulder. At the same time, Spencer tried to call Triple-A unfortunately they didn't have cellphone reception, so they sat silent for a few minutes, hoping another passerby would stop to help but were unsuccessful.</p><p>“Der maybe, we should walk to the nearest service station. I think I saw something back that way.” He said pointing in the direction behind them.</p><p>“I don’t know. It's getting late maybe we should stay here until it gets lighter out when hopefully more cars will be passing.”</p><p>“It's 4:00”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Spencer scoffs and gets out of the car and is behind the car when Derek grabs his arm.</p><p>“Ow. What are you doing?”</p><p>“Listen, I know it might not seem logical but it's safer to stick together in a closed environment. I mean anything can happen.” Derek says while moving his hands mindlessly under Spencer’s T-shirt and moving his hand up and down his spine.</p><p>"A bad or faulty battery is one of the most common reasons.  You think ‘ah, my battery’s gone dead’ when your car doesn’t start. But a faulty battery is like Loki, it tricks you into thinking all is ok because you’re driving like normal, but your car will run the risk of stalling. When the battery isn’t doing its job, the alternator works harder to keep your electronics (including your engine system) running. An overworked alternator causes even more stress on the car engine and before you know it, boom. Your car stalls. A car battery normally lasts you a good 1.5 to 2 years, longer for higher-end batteries. If you feel that it’s time to get your car battery replaced, check with so that you have peace of mind the next time you are on the road." </p><p>"Prettyboy."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You are so adorable when you overthink," Morgan says as he begins to gnaw on his right ear lobe eliciting a moan from the younger man.</p><p>“Der-Stop. This is s-serious we-we need a plaaan.”</p><p>“And I have one.” He says this time moving his lips down pretty boy's pale neck sucking and biting on the younger male’s pulse point as he wrapped his arms tightly around his partner’s slim waist pushing it against the back of the SUV.</p><p>“I-I-“</p><p>“Prettyboy at a loss for words, what a surprise. Come on tell me what you want.”</p><p>"I-" he was suddenly interrupted when a state cruiser pulled in front of their car. They pulled apart when they saw the officer exit his vehicle."</p><p>A light skin officer begins walking toward the two men before asking them what the problem was and if they needed any help. Morgan was angry that his intimate section was interrupted but he did remember that he promised his mom that he was visiting for the holidays so he told the officer everything about how their car battery died and how they had no cell service so they couldn't call Triple-A. Luckily he gave them a ride to the nearest service station and a ride back to their vehicle and soon they were on their way. </p><p>* * *</p><p>After two knocks on the apartment door, Fran opened the door welcoming Reid and her son. </p><p>"Hey, baby."</p><p>"Hey, Ma."</p><p>"Thanks for allowing me here Ms. Morgan."</p><p>"It's my pleasure, any friend of Derek is automatically a friend of ours. And please call me Fran." smiling kindly at the younger man before turning back to her son saying how they must be tired and want to get some rest. Your sisters won't be here until tomorrow so there it will be plenty quiet for the both of you."</p><p>A confused Spencer turns to Derek uttering, "I thought we were staying at a Hotel?"</p><p>"You want to?"</p><p>"I just don't want to be a burden to you Ms. Mo-Fran."</p><p>"It's no bother, no bother at all. Ya'll sleep in Derek's room."</p><p>"Well I appreciate this big gesture, Fran, it means a lot." said Spencer earning a kind smile from Fran before Morgan interrupting with "Thanks Ma."</p><p>* * *<br/>After setting down their bags they slip off their shoes and stretch out on the bed, Reid's head on the pillows and Morgan's head by his feet. Almost instinctively Derek begins to soothingly rub Prettyboy's feet which Spencer loves and encourages him to continue by shifting his feet to give Derek better access. </p><p>"So?" utters Derek.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You still nervous?"</p><p>"Not as much as when I was home but I'm still worried that I could say or do the wrong thing that infuriates her; I mean she is your mother and she'll do anything to protect her baby."</p><p>Derek just smiles kindly at the younger man still rubbing his feet. They stayed like that -- in comfortable silence -- for a few minutes just enjoying the presence of one another before they were interrupted by Fran who came upstairs to let them know she had made dinner and said they were welcome to help themselves whenever they liked. They thanked her and went down to eat. </p><p>* * *<br/>“So, that’s where you get your cooking skills from,” Spencer says while removing his button-down shirt -- revealing an overly white T-shirt – folding it and placing it on the back of Morgan’s desk chair. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess so.”</p><p>“Hey, you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah I’m just thinking about when we broke down and I was asking you what you wanted you never answered my question,” Morgan says while inching closer to Reid making the younger man take baby steps backward until he fell onto the bed using his elbows to lift himself up. <br/>“You still didn’t answer my question, Prettyboy.”</p><p>“Oh ugh I-I don’t know”</p><p>“You sure about that?” says Morgan now on top of Reid pinning his arms down above his head as he begins biting and sucking the delicate skin on his neck eliciting a moan from the twink. Derek brought one hand down and ran it under the twink’ s undershirt until he reached his left nipple which he twisted, pinched, and pulled until it became hard. </p><p>“D-Derek”</p><p>“Yes, pretty boy.”</p><p>“I-I need Yo-“but was interrupted by a sudden knock on the bedroom door. </p><p>“Derek its Desiree I know you're in there open up.”</p><p>“Ugh. Hold on.” Says Derek as he slowly removes himself from atop Reid. He steps outside of the bedroom closing the door behind him careful not to expose a half-naked, sexually frustrated Spencer to his sister. </p><p>“Good to see you but Ma said you weren’t coming until tomorrow.”</p><p>“I decided to surprise you all.” </p><p>“Well, I appreciate that, ma might be a little mad at you, you know she hates surprises.” And they both laugh until Desiree brings up the topic of the person in Derek’s room. </p><p>“Who’s the mysterious guest in there.”</p><p>“Someone special” was all he said before slipping back into his room careful not to open the door too wide so his sister won’t peek through the cracks. </p><p>* * *<br/>“What is it?”</p><p>“Here. It's a remote starter, mom. You hit that button right there and it starts your car from inside the house.”</p><p>“Why would I do that?” </p><p>“So it's nice and warm when you get in it.”</p><p>“Really.”</p><p>“No more cold cars in the winter, mom I would like one for my birthday.”</p><p>“Not for that bucket you drive.”</p><p>“Shut up get out of here.”</p><p>“We miss you around here, baby”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Your sisters wish you were around more.” </p><p>“You know the unit I work for is only out of Virginia, you know that.”</p><p>“Well...you're careful, right I lost your dad I can't lose you.” </p><p>“You won't.”</p><p>“Good because you owe me some grandbabies.”  In response Derek just smiles throwing a side glance at Spencer before standing up, clearing his throat, and saying that he has an announcement. </p><p>“Actually, everyone I have an announcement to make. I- We are in a relationship he says grabbing hold of Spencer’s hand gripping it tightly. The room was quiet – no one said Congratulations instead Fran stood up from her place on the couch and walked into her bedroom leaving Desiree, Sarah, Derek, and Spencer awkwardly exchanging glances. It wasn’t until Spencer let go of Derek’s hand before saying, “I’m going to pack my bag. I’ll be downstairs in the car.” </p><p>“Just so you know I’m fine with the whole gay thing but you should’ve waited before ruining everyone’s Christmas.” Says Desiree before leaving the apartment. </p><p>“Do you want to say anything?” Derek asks looking at Sarah – the only other person in the living room. </p><p>“You know how she feels so why would you say that?” and with that, she stood up and walked out the door following behind her sister. </p><p>There he stood in the living room all alone – abandoned. </p><p>* * *<br/>“Hey. I’m sorry.” Said Spencer side-hugging Derek while they sat on the edge of the cheap motel bed. They stayed in that position for fifteen minutes until Derek whispered into Spencer’s ear. </p><p>“I know what’ll help take the edge off of me.”</p><p>“What?” </p><p>Morgan’s deep brown eyes were staring intensely into Reid’s hazel ones filled with nothing except – lust. Morgan was angry and sad and Reid knew all too well the consequences of such a combination. Within seconds Reid could feel the bed shift as Morgan slowly and seductively climbed atop it and, he could feel his burly arms pinning his skinnier ones above his head. He was left gasping for oxygen when Morgan started giving him sloppy, kisses along with his sweet spots. Derek's mouth tasted so good, against his pale, tender neck it left a euphoric feeling within the younger man. Despite the inability to collect his thought he managed to help his lover remove his skin-tight shirt revealing a beautifully sculpted dark skin body sculpted by the gods. </p><p>After unwrapping his chocolate god Reid looked down and couldn't help but moan when he saw his dark, hard abs and the extra-large bulge in Derek's pants. At this point they switched positions, Reid was now sitting in a cowgirl position atop the older man eliciting a deep growl from the older man. His fingers ran through Spencer's long, brown, disheveled hair using his free-hand to push Reid further down so his head was closer to his crotch. Reid began to rub Morgan's hard cock through his boxer shorts eliciting a moan from the older man. The feeling of lust was intense and when his Pretty boy, now shirtless, stared up at him with defiance in his eyes and ripped off his boxer shorts, Morgan couldn't hold back a loud moan and grab the back of Pretty boy’s head aggressively.</p><p>"Open up, pretty boy," Morgan muttered. Spencer didn't hesitate to separate his luscious lips and swallowed Derek's big black cock. For Morgan, Spencer’s head game was stronger than ever. Reid's tongue desperately slurped the underside of Morgan's dick and he sucked the best he could barely seeing as tears formed in his eyes. The older man thrusted harder and farther into the young boy's small mouth hole, causing him to gag on the dick and choke on his spit and pre-cum as he stared up at his lust-filled boyfriend who kept thrusting. </p><p>"Humm fuck. That's fuckin right, choke on my big black cock pretty boy. Take it." Morgan released Reid's head, but that didn't stop the younger man from circling his tongue around the thick head of Morgan's cock, his hand wrapping around the hard shaft. It was slick with his saliva. Spencer moaned, hollowing his cheeks as he began sucking harder and faster wanting nothing more than to be filled with his Daddy. </p><p>"Stand up," Spencer shakily did as the older man desired. When he peered over his shoulder and held Morgan's gaze, Reid saw an almost dangerous amount of lust in those deep brown eyes. "Bend over the bed," Derek demands. He guides Spencer to lean his chest onto the cheap-ass motel bed they had been laying on just a moment ago. Derek's fingers were like little magicians. He knelt behind his Pretty boy, spreading his cheeks. Reid moaned, grasping the cheap-ass motel sheets tightly as Morgan ran his thick fingers teasingly over his hole. <br/>"Fuck Reid. I need your bussy," Morgan whispers into Reid's hole. Gasping, his fingers tightly grabbing ahold of the cheap-ass motel sheets. As Derek licked his ass, all Spencer could do was moan and cry out at the new sensations. Derek knew exactly how to make his Pretty boy weak at the knees. His tongue circled the younger boy's hole, poking in and out. Derek's name escaped his throat as he grinded back onto his tongue as if asking for more. </p><p>"Ah-ah fuck. D-Derekkk p-p-pleat," Reid mumbled becoming more incoherent the longer Derek worked his magic. Your wish is my command, uttered Morgan. He stood up, his cock ready for the launch. The dark tip of his length looked almost red as pre-cum flowed down his shaft. Rubbing it against Spencer's bussy, he groaned.</p><p>"Use your words, pretty boy?"</p><p>"P-pleat D-Derekkkk. I-I NEED you inside mee," Manage to escape Reid’s throat, Morgan thrusted his hips forward, his hard cock forcing its way into Reid's tight bussy. He cried out and shut his eyes, despite being together for four years he still couldn’t take the entirety of Derek Morgan. </p><p>"Oh fuck Daddy, harder," Reid moaned breathlessly. Morgan hung on to Spence's hips in a tight grip, his balls slapping the boy's ass with every thrust. Morgan's hand only left Reid's hip to grab the back of his knee and pull it up onto the bed and repeated the same thing on his left side – the boy was practically doing a split -- granting him better access to penetrate. In this position, Reid began to relax, letting his daddy have complete control. </p><p>"Y-you're... daddyyyy," Spencer cried. It didn't take much more than that, and Reid knew he was on the edge of a mind-shattering orgasm. He began pushing back hard to meet Derek's hard, deep thrusts. He was hitting every spot so fucking good. Derek reached his hand around and began to jerk Reid's hard cock fast. He couldn't form a coherent thought as he raced closer and closer to the top.</p><p>"Ahh-" Reid screamed. His hole clenched like a vice around the cock that filled him, pure white pleasure taking over his body completely. Derek couldn't take it anymore, Spence just looked so fucking sexy falling apart.</p><p>"I'm gonna fucking cum all over you, pretty boy," Morgan growled. He began thrusting again, harder this time, Reid's tight ass clenching around his hard cock. Reid felt this and was brought back down to earth, once again pushing back against him. It only took a few more thrusts and Morgan was pulling out, flipping Reid and bringing him to his knees quickly. </p><p>Still dazed he pulled himself up to his knees in front of his boyfriend.</p><p>"I'm gonna... fucking cum all over that…pretty face," Derek said brokenly, jacking his big black cock hard and fast. It was by far the best sex they ever had, watching his beautiful man jerk himself off over his face in the blissful aftershocks of his orgasm.</p><p>"Tell me you want it," Derek gasped.</p><p>"Please, Daddy... Cum on me, I want your kids," Reid cries, and then it's happening. Derek comes with a loud, deep moan, his thick semen spurting in ropes all over the younger boy's face. Opening his mouth Reid began and licking the tip of the cock while looking up at the older man.</p><p>* * *<br/>Next Morning</p><p>Derek woke up first and took the time to admire Spencer – like he did every morning – he found his boyfriend so fascinating despite the fact he has been with him for four years – what if I make it forever – is the next thought to enter Derek’s brain. Proposal? Do I really want to marry Spencer? The question was answered as Derek found himself getting off the cheap-ass motel bed -- slowly not to awaken his Pretty boy – reached for his jacket and pull out a small black box. The plan was to propose on Christmas after he told his family that they were dating but that obviously didn’t go as planned so has been trying to figure out the best time to pop the question. And when’s a better time than right after the best sex of your life? </p><p>Suddenly, Reid was stirring and awoke flustered because he didn’t feel Morgan beside him but after adjusting he saw him standing, turned away from him. </p><p>“Derek, what are you doing?”</p><p>This was it. You’re really doing this. Playboy, Ladies man Derek Morgan is finally settling down. Spencer Reid you fucking broke me, Pretty boy, I…</p><p>“Derek?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I asked, what are you doing.”</p><p>Slipping his hands into his pockets he turned around gazing directly into Reid’s hazel eyes he said, “Thinking about how amazing you are. How intelligent you are. How you stand by someone through the toughest times. How you-“</p><p>“Why are you being so nice?”</p><p>“Because…Spencer Walter Reid the moment I saw you for the very first time will be stuck into my memory till the end of the days because it was the evening when the course of my life radically changed its direction. </p><p>I keep in the sanctuary of my heart every minute we shared because from the first moment I was totally overwhelmed by you. I was so proud to make you meet my family because I was certainly sure that they would love you. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case but I realized it doesn’t matter because this is about the US and how I feel about you will never change because of someone's opinion. <br/>I do not know how it had been possible to live without your support and cheerfulness, without listening to your constant rambles, your mismatched socks, and your incredible sex drive. I love dreaming with you because you understand me as nobody would ever understand. I love being ill if I know that you will be near and take care of me.</p><p>You encourage me to get up every morning, to do great deeds for you, and to constantly become better. You are my inspiration, my motivation, and my desirous goal. You know like nobody what is happiness and where it is hidden. We both want to have a colorful and memorable life, and together we can make our dreams come true.</p><p>You are the perfect person to be my friend, my advisor, my teacher, my travel companion, father of my future children, and my husband.</p><p>I promise to do everything I only can to be a perfect match for you and to become the husband you deserve. I want to become your happily-ever-after, and I will do my best for your incredible smile to never fade. You are the greatest and the most precious gift given to me by this life, so I wish the whole world knew about my infinite and limitless love for you.</p><p>I am looking forward to the day when my last name will become ours, and our love will give birth to a new family. You are the one I want to be with for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.  My voice is trembling, and my heart beats at a furious pace since I hope you will say me yes and make me the luckiest man on Earth. </p><p>He kneels down on one knee slowly removing the small black box from his pocket, opening=ng it revealing a silver band covered in diamonds before saying, “Prettyboy, will you marry me?” </p><p>I’m at a loss for words, did he, Derek Morgan, propose to me. He loves me I mean I knew that because he said it but this is – he loves me. Derek Morgan loves me despite all the times he said he wasn’t the marrying type, he would never settle down he finally wants to. </p><p>There were a brief moment of silence both men’s faces stained with tears none of them spoke until Spencer opened his mouth. </p><p>The once wide smile faded from his face revealing a solemn, deadpanned expression. Derek was silent, eyes red, cheeks wet with new and old tears but you could tell the gears in his brain were still turning. </p><p>I can’t believe he said, “No.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: This was supposed to be smut or “**r* with a plot” but I became invested and now it’s an entire story shoved into one Chapter. If you’re reading this: thank you so much for taking time out of your day; I greatly appreciate it, and if you want a part two just let me know. (P.S I will most likely write one anyway but still let me know.) Don’t forget to vote, and comment. Mwah, b*****s.  </p><p>Word Count: 3882</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I am still editing Part II, so please be patient; in the; mean-time, here is some Moreid content that you can enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joke: What comes first?</p><p>Punchline: Lightning. Lightning comes first.</p><p>Explanation: Morgan, as we all know, is "Chocolate Thunder," which means Reid is "White Lightning."</p><p>***</p><p>Morgan: I like Reid, how I like doors.</p><p>Punchline: Open.</p><p>Explanation: Morgan always aggressively kicks open doors.</p><p>***</p><p>Reid: "I know he has over ten nicknames for me, but it'll be unprofessional if I call my co-worker Daddy."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Hope you enjoyed the jokes, lol. Have a wonderful evening/afternoon/morning.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Pennsylvania Petite and International Intellect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Requested by @PagetsNumberOneWhore</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“EMILY!” JJ said, screaming into the sleeping woman’s ear.  </p><p>“She always does this, God.” “I made coffee, extra Splenda just like-“</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Good you’re awake, now you have to go,” JJ said as she urgently forces Emily out of the bed towards the doorway.</p><p>“Hey, Hey, I’m going I’m going,” she says putting her hands up before bending down to put on last night’s clothes. After sliding on her signature black boots she walks towards the door turning slightly to JJ before uttering the following words, “Whenever you’re ready I’ll be here. Just say the words.” And with that she was gone leaving JJ, alone, contemplating what she said before being snapped out of her thoughts by a hefty, southern accent. </p><p>“Hello, Ms. Jareau.” The man says leaning across the spot where Emily once lay to give his wife a quick kiss on the cheek. “Why are you up so early?”</p><p>“W-Work. A recent case has me thinking…What if it was Henry?” Now, this wasn’t completely false she WAS thinking of a past case but her mind wondered more focused on Emily and the words she said this morning, “Whenever you’re ready I’ll be here. Just say the words.” Was it time? Should she talk with her husband? How will this affect my job? </p><p>What about Henry? H-Henry, What’s going to happen to my son? “I’m in my thought again. God, I have to stop with that and now I’m talking to myself Jennifer Jareau you have officially lost your mind. Goddammit.” </p><p>“Jennifer?” Will asks with a certain curiosity. </p><p>“Hmm” she responds not fully aware of reality.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’m fine. Have to get ready for work.” And with that, she hopped off the bed, headed to her wardrobe this time leaving Will, alone, on the Queen sized bed contemplating the series of events that occurred. </p><p>* * *<br/>JJ entered the BAU glass doors headed straight for her office and was greeted by the mounds of paperwork and case files on her desk. Before she could sit down she feels warm arms wrap around her abdomen and almost instinctively she leans into the touch before suddenly pulling away. <br/>“Em, not here.” She mumbles lowly.  </p><p>“Why not? He’s not here.” The brunette woman says stepping closer to the blonde woman. <br/>“Emily?” she says just before the brunette woman reaches her hand up to caress her cheek ever-so-lightly which causes JJ’s breathe to hitch. At this point Emily backed JJ onto her desk, pushing papers and case files onto the floor. JJ’s breathing sped up the more Emil spoke seductively in her ear. </p><p>“Tell me what you want.” Spoke to the brunette woman.</p><p>“I-I-“but before she could get the rest of the words out Hotch walks in causing the two women to separate quickly. </p><p>“Sir?” Emily spoke trying to calm her nerves.</p><p>“We have a case. Meet us in the briefing room.”</p><p>“Yes Sir.”</p><p>After leaving the office the two women look at one another before letting out a small laugh and walking out the door. Emily lets JJ walk out first, only because she wanted to give her a quick Double-Tap letting her know they’ll finish what they started later.</p><p>* * *<br/>The case was rough, any case that involves suicide, especially among children was always rough for JJ, and after that, she needs comfort a night with the love of her life but she can’t because Will has offered to take off to be with her. She loves Will, he’s the father of her child but her love for him and Emily differs significantly. </p><p>“I can’t just up and leave him – at least not for her. I can’t do it” she whispers to herself while she lay in bed, tired, wanting nothing more than to let the darkness consume her. A few minutes pass before her husband enters. </p><p>“I’m home.” He says walking through the hallway toward their bedroom only to find his wife fully-clothed, asleep above the duvet cover. LaMontagne kicked off his shoes and laid behind her resting his arm delicately around her waist and nuzzling his chin into her neck. JJ awakens suddenly to the scruffy feeling along her chin. She turns slightly to find her husband spooning behind her, saddening her even more but she doesn’t move instead forcing herself back into slumber. </p><p>The Next Morning</p><p>JJ woke up to find herself alone in the bed, after searching the house she found that Will had taken off early for work and Henry was at his cousin’s house in Louisiana for the next few weeks so she was ALL alone. She grabs her phone off the dresser. </p><p>JJ:<br/>I’m alone.</p><p>				Emily Prentiss:<br/>				What time is it?</p><p>JJ:<br/>Es hora de comer.</p><p>				Emily Prentiss:<br/>				Oh yeah.</p><p>JJ:<br/>Yeah. You cumming or what?</p><p>				Emily Prentiss:<br/>				I think you spelled coming wrong.</p><p>				Emily Prentiss:<br/>				Nevermind, on my way. </p><p>JJ sets her phone down on the table and heads to the shower, despite knowing after Emily comes over she’ll have to take another one. Hell, they might even take one together but her fantasy is cut short by the ring of her cellphone. Hotch. </p><p>* * *</p><p>“Thank you all for coming in on such short notice. I just got a call from a Sheriff. We’re going to Wyoming, grab your go-bags and we’ll meet on the tarmac.”</p><p>30 minutes later</p><p>The team is on the jet, Emily and JJ are sitting on the couch approximately two centimeters from one another, Morgan and Reid were practically sitting on each other’s lap and Hotch and Rossi, well they’re straight. With that said the team, the team finishes settling in and starts to delve into the case. Emily and JJ exchanging long glances every few minutes – which they were SURE the elite team of FBI profilers could see. </p><p>* * *<br/>“You ready” </p><p>“I’m ready,” she said smiling at the brunette woman.</p><p>“For?” Derek chimes in.</p><p>“None of your concern”<br/>“Oh really? Because from what I heard you’re having a Fun Night and I wasn’t invited.” Derek sarcastically says.</p><p>“We would’ve asked but we heard you and Spencer were visiting your Mom for the holidays,” JJ responds. </p><p>“I can ditch him if it means I can join in on Fun Night.” But before one of the girls could respond Spencer smacks the back of Derek’s head followed by saying, “I don’t think so, Der.”</p><p>“Ok ok,” Derek responds holding his hands up in surrender. Then the two males walked through the glass doors leaving Emily and JJ alone in the Bullpen. </p><p>“I have a gift for you,” says Emily.</p><p>“What?” JJ asks confusingly</p><p>“Yeah.” The brunette woman says now stepping closer to the blonde woman so that there is no space in between them. “I do.”</p><p>“I wonder what it could be.”</p><p>Emily laughs, wrapping her arms across JJ’s waist slowly but steadily using her fingers to work under her shirt. </p><p>“I’ll surprise you” she whispers before gently gnawing on her earlobe eliciting a moan from the younger woman’s mouth. </p><p>“Em-Emilyyy” she manages to say before throwing her head back giving her more access to her neck. She is then pushed up against her desk, back flat and legs high but before they could go any further Reid walks in.</p><p>“Sorry. I didn’t see anything I just forgot my books. Carry on. I guess” but he didn’t say that last past out loud or at least not loud enough for them to hear. JJ gives Emily the look, the look that said “why do we keep getting interrupted?” and Emily simply smiles wrapped her arm JJs waist, grabbed their bags, and walked out of the Bullpen knowing that Will would get worried if she isn’t home by midnight. Ever since they got married he always had an irrational fear that she could be targeted by an Unsub and then poof all of sudden she’s with her sister, Roselyn. </p><p>The two hurried out of there, riding in Emily’s Subaru, breaking all the traffic laws because Emily’s gay and she can’t drive – like Morgan. </p><p>New Years Eve</p><p>“All right JJ you can do this. Just do it. You’ve been waiting for this moment your entire life, now is the time. Go out there and tell him. C’mon JJ.” She mutters to herself inside the bathroom of their home.<br/>It was New Years''' and the team has a party every year, this year JJ hosted. </p><p>She walks out of the bathroom, straightening her clothes out before walking towards the makeshift bar. </p><p>“I have an announcement to make,” she says turning to her husband. “I want a divorce.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I want a divorce.”</p><p>“JJ, I-“but before he could finish his sentence she walked over and kissed Emily VERY passionately even dipped her a little for a more dramatic effect. Everyone in the room was stunned and you could hear Hotch mumble something along the lines of “Everyone is separating” glancing in the direction of Morgan and Reid. </p><p>After the awkward silence Penelope chimes in, “Well, ugh who wants cake?” </p><p>“I can take a piece.” Says Reid joyfully</p><p>“That’s not the only thing you can take.” Utters Morgan, earning a stink eye from the skinny white boy. Suddenly the tension in the room grew thicker everyone exchanging glances between Reid and Morgan – everyone except Emily and JJ – they were officially in honeymoon mode. Will had left early, packed a bag, and then left leaving Emily and JJ and a perfectly large bed to do WHATEVER they please and that they did. The party ended as soon as the clock hit 12:01.  Henry was staying with Jack for the first week of January so the girls could get ‘settled’. </p><p>30 minutes later</p><p>JJ walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing except a black lace faux garter that covers everything and nothing at the same time. Emily is very focused on the television but her attention is hindered when JJ steps in front of the TV. </p><p>“What’s this?” Emily asks confused but intrigued.</p><p>“My New Year’s resolution. I want to start it off right.” JJ says in her ‘sexy’ tone. </p><p>“That’s why you ended it with Will.”</p><p>“Yep.” She says, only inches away from Emily’s lap.</p><p>“About time.” She mutters mostly to herself but they were now close enough that JJ simply smiled, lifting her hand slowly undoing the top button on Emily’s shirt. While continuing to undo her shirt Emily grabs JJ by the waist, instructing her to sit on her lap. Now on her lap, Emily caresses JJ’s cheek guiding her golden locks from her neck creating a clear path to attack. </p><p>She brings her lips closer to JJ’s neck, her breath sending shivers down JJ’s spine eliciting a moan, “Emily.” She laughs in return continuing to run her tongue up and down her sweet spot, marking her territory everyone once in a while. </p><p>“Em-Emilyy” she manages slightly out of breath but is ignored because the woman is more focused on making her baby speechless. She moved her head back and lunged directly into Ms. Jareau’s lips making her stop undoing Emily's shirt. It took a minute to realize what happened but once she did JJ reciprocated the kiss, getting more comfortable on Emily’s lap. She opened her mouth allowing Emily’s tongue to enter with no hesitation.  </p><p>“Will.” Emily moaned taking her lips off of JJ’s neck.</p><p>“…What?” JJ questioned still straddling Emily’s lap.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” she asked in an outrage which caused JJ to swing around quickly and was shocked. Her ex-husband, who legally is still her husband since they didn’t get the divorce yet, stood in the doorway of their bedroom with a bundle of red roses and a chocolate heart. </p><p>“I came to win you back. You’re the love of my life Jennifer Jareau and I can’t live without you, Hell, Henry can’t live without us together. When you left I lost a part of me. It's still so hard to believe. Come back baby, please. Cause we belong together. Who else am I going to lean on? When times get rough? Who's gonna talk to me on the phone. Till the sun comes up? Who's gonna take your place? There ain't nobody better. Oh, baby, we belong together.” He passionately unveiled to her. </p><p> “Will-“</p><p>“No. I love you Jennifer Jareau and I’m not going to let this tear us apart.”</p><p>“She chose me, she doesn’t want you. Matter of fact, I fuck her more than you do.” Emily chimes in. </p><p>“You sure? Cause I think I was interrupting something.”</p><p>“It’s funny, you think we weren’t fucking. Hate to break it to you but she needed someone who could last more than 53 seconds.” </p><p>“Now leave.”</p><p>Will left. </p><p>“Now where were we?” asked Emily staring directly at JJ’s mosquito bite-sized breast. </p><p>Just when Emily was going to dive in their phones went off simultaneously. Hotch. </p><p>Five Days Later</p><p>Emily grabbed JJ’s hair roughly before speaking lowly. "I’m going to fuck you as I’ve never fucked you before," she said before flipping JJ and pushing her torso flat onto the bed. Emily went to her go-bag and pulled out her favorite strap-on – 7 inches -- before walking back to JJ. She kneed behind her girlfriend and dove-like she was a lifeguard at the Community pool. </p><p>"OH," JJ screamed pushing her face further into the covers, holding the covers into her fist tightly.</p><p>"That’s right scream, say my name," Emily said as she kept on stroking JJ's g-spot. </p><p>"Em-EMILYYYY," JJ moaned. </p><p>“Fuck me harder. Please, Daddy.”</p><p>That’s all it took for Emily to quicken her pace. Speeding like The Flash, she wanted nothing more than to please her baby. The room filled with loud groans, moans, and screaming for the next hour.  </p><p>As the two profilers dropped on the bed, breathing heavily. Emily looked over to JJ – asleep, at least that’s what she thought – moving her naked body closer, basically spooning her, she lifted her hand and began to rub JJ’s blonde hair slowly before leaning in and whispering “I love you” in her ear. What she didn’t expect was JJ to murmur “I love you too.” This caused Emily to smile, snuggling closer to her beloved before kissing her neck and falling into a deep slumber.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Let me know. Mwah. </p><p>Word Count: 2377</p>
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